For Those Who Have No Voice.

When your child is born, you look at the tiny miracle in your arms and see so many things. There is the baby, all pink and perfect, with the proper number of fingers and toes, a little mouth like a rosebud and the most beautiful blue eyes on the planet. There is the kid with the heartbreakingly beautiful smile, the scraped knees and elbows and the hair that has been bleached golden by the sun. There is the adult that all to soon will leave your care and make a path to walk on that was only meant for him or her.
In between there will be diaper changes, doctor visits, baby food stains in the carpet, legos down the toilet and a host of other things that will make you smile, frown, cringe and wonder at how this little person ticks.
Each milestone will be marked in many ways. A photo, a scrapbook page, a video, an item for the memory box, and all will record the things that you are so proud of, and have told every relative within listening distance. No other baby ever walked that soon, or spoke that big word at that age, or ever roller skated, danced, ran, colored, jumped, counted, tied or sung as well as your child.
With this joy also comes some of the hard parts of parenting. There is the sickness and injury that every parent prays will never attack, but knows, in reality, will happen. As hard as you try to prevent it, your child still gets the flu, mumps, ear infections, sunburned, scraped, cut and broken. You would give your own numbered days to see your child well, and would gladly take the pain of their injury to see your child whole. The best you can do is whatever makes it better for them, so they can get through it.
There are also the bad days when things just do not go right. No pair of underwear will do, the socks itch, the cereal doesn't taste right, its too cold, its too hot, there is a meltdown in the store because dinner has to come before candy, and these things all add up to the times when you may wonder if it was worth it.
For most parents, the answer to this question is a resounding YES. There is nothing your child will ever do that could possibly cause you to love them less. But for some, they have shown their answer to this question in horrendous ways, including abuse and death.
A child cannot help themselves stave off the bumps and bruises and the broken bones. that, as a parent, is your job; your sacred duty. A child needs protection from harm because they are too tiny and fragile to be able to do it themselves. They need you as their shield and suit of armor, their warm coat and their wall.
A cut can heal, a bruise can fade, but these things, when handed to them by the people who they have to trust, will leave marks on a place much more fragile then their bodies; the marks will be left on their soul and in their spirit. Those marks won't fade, they will not heal. They will just stay open and sore and painful in ways we can only imagine.
I ask you, as you read this, to take a minute to see your child. Not just look, but SEE that little person. You are their whole world, their universe. You are the ones that make it better when they don't know how. You are the ones they need to see show acceptance and approval, love and happiness.
So the next time your child does something that makes you angry, please stop and think about the little ones who can no longer say they are sorry for the things that made their parents angry. The ones who suffered hard and paid the ultimate price for their crimes, and then see your child again. Please; SEE your child again.
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I found out today that a friend of mine, Adam, who had to give up the foster daughter that he had fallen head over heals in love with and hoped to adopt, has been given the opportunity to foster another child who apparently has come from horrendous conditions. His heart knows no limits, he sees the good and the worth in those who society has thrown away, or set aside, and he uses this gift to bring life to these children who have endured more than they ever deserved, and more than we, as adults, would be able to.
I wrote the piece at the top as a response to one of the most horrendous things that has ever entered my life. A child that I knew, that we ,as a community, most all knew, was murdered by her mother and left on a river bank.
The mother is now in prison, probably for the rest of her life, many hope so at least, and this act of hate rocked us and left us wondering what would lead a mother to this. What had snapped in her to turn on her own flesh and destroy it; animals do that, people are supposed to be better.
I often think of that child, Karissa was her name, and what must have gone through her mind when her mother choked the life from her. I don't think I have what it takes to encompass what her thoughts must have been. Help never came in time for Karissa, but others, by the grace of God, have been rescued.
Thankfully, there are angels in the form of foster parents that have the ability to take these children that have been rescued and start helping these little souls piece their lives back together.
I know I do not have what it takes to do this. But Adam does, he and so many others have the ability to bring these kids out of a world of horror and into a place where they can see themselves as the beautiful souls they really are.
I am hoping that two things might come from this message. One, that you, dear reader, will understand what a gift a foster parent truly is to a child who might otherwise parish in their own despair, and two, that someone who feels that they have reached their limit of endurance, will just walk away before the first punch, the first slap, the first cut or burn is leveled onto a small, defenseless child, walk away and get the help that is needed so that another child will not be a victim of abuse.
It isn't much, but I can hope.
Goodnight Karissa, and thanks Adam.