This one's for Karen....and Becky too. :)

A Sweetie Chronicle

In which we divulge her illicit love affair.

As everyone knows, I am absolutely in love with my little tuxedo cat, Sweetie-pie. Don't get me wrong, I have loved and cherished all of my cats, they have brought me years of joy and happiness, but Sweetie is different.
She came to us an orphan, thankful to us beyond measure for every scrap of food and ounce of warmth she received, as I believe she was not capable of realizing that her new home was a permanent home, and therefore had to work at making us happy so she would not be put back out into the cold.
She never once caused issue, with the exception of unerringly finding even the smallest piece of plastic wrapping and hastily eating it so that we would not be able to take it from her. She has been with us six years, and still will take any plastic she can get her lips and teeth latched onto. That is my only fault with her; other than that she is perfect to me.
She makes me feel better than any human can, even those who are my closest and dearest family and friends. She looks at me and can see none of the vices which make me such a fallible human, she sees none of my bad traits, my wicked ways, or all of the bad things which prevent me from being the kind of person I wish she could see. Instead, she looks at me as if she sees pure love, and shows me this in return, which, on a good day fills my soul up, and on a bad day prevents it from emptying into nothingness.
Now before you all arrive at my home wanting to see the only cat on the planet with her own halo and set of wings, I must also tell you that my little saint is keeping her halo perched on top of her head by benefit of a devil horn or two.
I knew nothing of this until about a month or so ago, when I happened to notice her up in my bedroom window, acting rather strangely.
It was well after dark, and I noticed she was looking very intently out the window at something (I presumed) on the lawn. I was playing a game on my computer so I really wasn't interested in what she saw, I just took for granted it was a little animal that came out at night, and let it go at that. I found myself wrong.
She stood up, arched her back and assumed the position that all cats take when confronted by another cat; the one that says to the world "I am ready for battle, God save the King and country", and then she started~~ huffing.
I have to say, I have heard cats growl, I have heard them hiss, I have heard them meow in all manner from high pitched to guttural, but I have never heard a cat huff; until now.
I looked out, and to my surprise, a tom was looking in my bedroom window, with eyes and heart only for Sweetie. I 'shoo-ed' him, I hollered at him, I threatened him, but he was totally smitten by her beauty, and would have nothing except her, or would at least die trying. In other words, to put it a little indelicately, he was horny.
Not wanting any truck with her gentleman caller, she was huffing with every breath entering her body,(sounds which could put the huffs of an indignant teenager to shame) as if to tell her suitor that his very existence on this planet was an affront to all things Holy, and this only served to double his efforts in trying to reach his fair love, and thus putting a two inch by four inch hole in my window screen.
I decided that this love affair had to come to an end, and went outside in order to scare him off. I did just that, and gained a mosquito bite in the process.
When I came back inside, Sweetie was still in the window, showing great pride in the fact that SHE had single-handedly sent Mr. Hot-pants on his way, and was still emitting a short huff or two, just to prove a point. I took hold of her, with the intention of taking her out of my window so that I could shut the inside one, and there was no having it. She hung on to the windowsill with every toenail she was in possession of, determined that she was going to stand guard until daylight. I never realized she had that many toenails, or that she could hang on to anything that tightly with them, but eventually I got her down and I closed my window.
Giving off the air of a conquering hero that had been snubbed by her adoring masses, she settled down on the bed for a bath and then a nap. as I resumed playing my game, I looked at her, and I could swear she had a bit of a grin on her face. I am sure I was imagining this, but it looked to me that she was actually rather pleased with the fact that there was a broken-hearted tom, wasting away in the night, lost without her love to keep him sustained.
I gave her a lecture about being kind to others who were less fortunate, as she was in the same fix not all that long ago, and I also lectured her on the fact that it was wrong to be a tease. She took this all in stride, but still, I think deep down, she was quite happy knowing she still had a touch of the temptress in her, even if she did put on a big show that she wanted me to see.
Thomas has been back, at first quite often, and as time passed, less and less, he would still look in my window for her but I would go out and shoo him away, and no matter how many times I shoo-ed him away, Sweetie would still give the occasional huff, for good measure and good show, and then go lay down on my bed with that same little smile on her lips, very pleased with herself that she still had what it takes to drive the men wild. I guess I can't blame her for it, every woman likes to think of herself as a seductress, and my little saint is no exception. Thats my girl.